By: Manjula Shaw, CFP®, CDFA®
“Tips from the Trenches” is a series of articles based on conversations with professionals who work with
individuals facing or considering the prospect of divorce. Watch this space for conversations with
professionals in Family and collaborative law, Forensic-Certified Public Accountants, Mediators, Marriage
Counselors, Family Court Judges, and Valuation Specialists.
Manjula Shaw is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®) and an Asst. Vice President at Tanglewood Legacy
Advisors. As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), Manjula specializes in helping individuals
navigate the financial complexities of late-stage divorce, including asset division, alimony, and child
support.
Manjula’s conversation is with Patricia Carter, a partner at Carter Morris, a Houston-based law firm. She
is a board-certified Family Lawyer with over 24 years of dedicated Family Law litigation experience.
We discuss the legal and financial aspects of conflicts related to child custody.
When facing divorce with children, its essetial to understand the legal and financial aspects of custody
disputes. Work with experienced professionals to navigate the process and prioritize your children’s
well-being.
In which ways could a child custody dispute progress?
This topic can be divided into two main areas. The first is dispute resolution through mediation and
negotiation, and the second is a resolution by litigation. Today, we will review child custody settled by
mediation and negotiation, which typically involves the following steps:
I. Consultation: Parents may seek legal counsel in matters of co-parenting. Both parents may
understand their rights and responsibilities by consulting with an attorney. Remember, each
parent needs representation to ensure that their interests are protected. Patricia says that in
her practice, she has represented highly educated women who stayed home to raise their
children and support their husband’s careers, as well as some women who are the family’s
primary breadwinner. So, how custody disputes are solved could look very different for each.
II. Mediation: If parents can’t agree on custody, they meet with a neutral mediator to discuss it. A
child custody mediator is a neutral third party who helps parents communicate and negotiate
custody arrangements for their children. Mediation is a less costly and more amicable
alternative to litigation.
III. Discussion: Parents discuss where the child will live, decision-making, visitation, and other
matters.
The Texas Family Code provides guidelines for determining the amount of child support paid.
Patricia explains that the formula used to calculate child support is based on income. However,
it can be challenging when the co-parents; lifestyle exceeds the standard guidelines, such as
having three children in a private school. Additionally, extra expenses may be associated with a
child’s activities, like club sports or a disability. Co-parents should be ready to work together to
find a solution for everyone.
In Texas, equal parenting time is not yet widely accepted. Work schedules and location play a
role in determining the final agreement. Parents should try to collaborate to find the best
provision for their child’s interests. Unfortunately, disagreements may arise. For example, one
parent may prefer club sports while the other prefers Little League.
Patricia advocates finding the best-fit mental health professional to support the children
through the process if needed. Often, family law attorneys or your CDFA® could make
recommendations.
IV. Agreement: If parents can agree, they create a custody plan, usually with the help of the
mediator or lawyers.
Patricia advises that co-parents should put their issues aside for the best interests of their
children. Children aged 12 or above have the right to choose which parent they want to live with
most of the time, but the decision should always be made in the child’s best interest.
If there are safety concerns, the court might handle custody decisions differently, prioritizing the
childs well-being.
V. Court Approval: The agreed-upon plan goes to court for approval. It becomes official if the court
determines that the plan suits the child.
VI. Follow-Through: Both parents must follow the plan. If one parent does not, the other can ask
the court to enforce it.
Remember, the goal is to create a custody plan in your child's best interest. The more collaboratively
you can work with your co-parent and legal and financial advisors, the better the outcome for everyone
involved. Stay informed, focused, and committed to finding the best solution for your family.
Stay tuned for the final article on my conversation with Patricia on navigating a child custody case that
ends up in litigation.
PLEASE SEE IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE INFORMATION at www.family-cfo.com/important-disclosure-information/
